Same ol' sad song...

The moment you think that you have someone out of your system, that person has a way of getting your mind all messed up anyway, especially when you find that your heart nearly jumps out of your body at the sight of him. You must then ask yourself, "Come on. Are you really being honest with yourself?" Can anyone relate to this?

I don't want to like anyone right now. I don't feel like having my emotions tossed to and fro.' I don't like the feeling of not having control of everything, including my feelings. But the sad thing is, I think that I've already lost it.

I think what's bothering me the most is the thought that this 'liking' could potentially be one-sided. I'm afraid to find out how Richard truly feels. If he does happen to like me, I'm scared that I'll freak out because I've never been in a situation where I've been sincerely desired for who I am and not what I can seemingly offer. But on the other side of the coin, I'm scared to find out that Richard has no feelings for me whatsoever because yet again it'll be the same ol' sad song of my life.

So, I sit here trying to figure out what to do. The Lord only knows what will bring music to my soul. I wish He could just hurry up with it. I apologize for that thought, Lord. But as always, I will continue to give You the praise because when all is said and done, I know that You are the true lover of my soul. I thank You for who You are and for the great blessing that I know You have in store for me. I will continue to be faithful to turn to You when I find myself in doubt, because I know You are not the author of confusion and that You desire nothing but the best for Your people. Although I might not always acknowledge You as I should, I just want to say, I love you. Please grant me wisdom, oh Lord.