I'll let my tears do the talking...

I'm feeling really blah. I've been feeling like this for the past two days. I mean I can't explain the way I feel right now. It's like I'm staring at the world and watching it through a video camera, and I'm not happy with what I see. I feel like I'm living outside of my body. People can make funny comments, and I won't laugh. I'll hear somone say something that clearly is sad, and I'm emotionless. It's even so bad that if I see a squirrel scurrying across the grass, I wish I could be in its body just to not have to be in mine. I'm just tired right now-tired of everything, and I don't know why.

Tonight, I found myself crying. Tears just falling from my eyes as if I had received some horrible news or something. And I don't know why I was crying. All I know is that my soul was not at ease and that no one could make it better. I did not want to talk to anyone, not even my closest friends. I was agitated and I didn't know why.

What's wrong with me?

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. ~ Romans 8:25-27 (NIV)

As with this scripture, maybe there's something wrong within me that I cannot personally put words to it. Maybe I mentally don't know what's wrong, but my spirit knows what's wrong. And it's my spirit talking for me to the Father above because I can't find the words to say. So, as I cry even right now as I type this, I hope my tears are clear enough for God to interpret. I don't want to feel like this, Lord. So, please listen to what my spirit is saying through my tears and make it all better. I don't like not knowing what's wrong with me. I don't like this feeling.....