It's so hard to say good-bye...
So, I just got off the phone with Joseph not too long ago. And it was nothing like the conversations we've had in the past. There was a lot of silence and tears on my end.
We started off talking like old times, and suddenly he tells me that he's transferred from the University. And I'm thinking that he's kidding, but clearly he's not. Apparently last Friday, football pushed him over the edge. It was apparent to him that he was not going to be playing 1st string yet again this year by the way practices had been running. And because other schools had still been contacting him to recruit him, he decided to go ahead and accept an offer from Kentucky. He cleared his locker, all his belongings from his place, and made his way back home to St. Louis. Tomorrow morning, he drives to Kentucky to begin a new chapter.
Jenee asked me why I cried: "Was it because you thought about the opportunity of you two ever getting together is over?" I thought about it, but that's not the reason. It's the fact that I didn't get the chance to give him a proper good-bye before he left. He called me on Friday when I was busy with work stuff, so I couldn't answer the phone. But, he didn't leave me a message. I asked him today why didn't he leave me a message and he stated that he didn't want to say good-bye to me via voicemail, but wanted to see me in person, but I didn't answer, so he decided that he'd just tell me later. I guess it was easier for him to do it that way. I went ahead and told him that my heart hurt after hearing that he'd transferred and that I was crying. He said that he had cried too before he left because that was the last thing he had wanted~to have to leave a place he had become so accustomed to. But, he knew that his dreams would never have the opportunity to come true if he had stayed. And I can't be mad at him at all for that.
I told him that as a long as he's happy, I am happy. I told him that he knows what he has to do when he gets there and that he needs to make sure to keep his focus. I told him to keep in touch. And I told him good-bye. I mean, I know we'll still talk to each other, but I also know that with change comes change (if that makes any sense at all). There are very few people in my life where when change occurred, our relationships stayed the same (constant contact). There are many that I don't know a single thing that happened to them since the day they graduated from highschool. And there is only one that I know of that change actually made our relationship stronger (you know who you are).
I can only hope that Joseph will succeed. He's already excited: "I have the same feeling now that I had when I was recruited from highschool. I'm ready!" And it's refreshing to hear him sound so energetic and enthusiastic after sensing his confidence decreasing each year because he wasn't being played the way he was expecting. Although my heart is saddened, I'm excited for him and I pray that God gives him the desires of his heart. May he find his place in Kentucky.
And yet, another disappears from the story of my life. What does the next chapter hold for me?
We started off talking like old times, and suddenly he tells me that he's transferred from the University. And I'm thinking that he's kidding, but clearly he's not. Apparently last Friday, football pushed him over the edge. It was apparent to him that he was not going to be playing 1st string yet again this year by the way practices had been running. And because other schools had still been contacting him to recruit him, he decided to go ahead and accept an offer from Kentucky. He cleared his locker, all his belongings from his place, and made his way back home to St. Louis. Tomorrow morning, he drives to Kentucky to begin a new chapter.
Jenee asked me why I cried: "Was it because you thought about the opportunity of you two ever getting together is over?" I thought about it, but that's not the reason. It's the fact that I didn't get the chance to give him a proper good-bye before he left. He called me on Friday when I was busy with work stuff, so I couldn't answer the phone. But, he didn't leave me a message. I asked him today why didn't he leave me a message and he stated that he didn't want to say good-bye to me via voicemail, but wanted to see me in person, but I didn't answer, so he decided that he'd just tell me later. I guess it was easier for him to do it that way. I went ahead and told him that my heart hurt after hearing that he'd transferred and that I was crying. He said that he had cried too before he left because that was the last thing he had wanted~to have to leave a place he had become so accustomed to. But, he knew that his dreams would never have the opportunity to come true if he had stayed. And I can't be mad at him at all for that.
I told him that as a long as he's happy, I am happy. I told him that he knows what he has to do when he gets there and that he needs to make sure to keep his focus. I told him to keep in touch. And I told him good-bye. I mean, I know we'll still talk to each other, but I also know that with change comes change (if that makes any sense at all). There are very few people in my life where when change occurred, our relationships stayed the same (constant contact). There are many that I don't know a single thing that happened to them since the day they graduated from highschool. And there is only one that I know of that change actually made our relationship stronger (you know who you are).
I can only hope that Joseph will succeed. He's already excited: "I have the same feeling now that I had when I was recruited from highschool. I'm ready!" And it's refreshing to hear him sound so energetic and enthusiastic after sensing his confidence decreasing each year because he wasn't being played the way he was expecting. Although my heart is saddened, I'm excited for him and I pray that God gives him the desires of his heart. May he find his place in Kentucky.
And yet, another disappears from the story of my life. What does the next chapter hold for me?
posted by W8ingPatiently at 4:26 AM
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